International Women’s Day is the perfect platform to celebrate the achievements of women who have worked tirelessly to help promote a gender equal world. This year’s theme is ‘Embrace Equity’ with the goal of breaking down the barriers that impede women’s ability to thrive. Two women on Station share with us their inspirational stories on championing female empowerment.
“If I can do it, you can do it. Yes, I had butterflies in my tummy. Then to find yourself in Iraq and Bahrain…. that was the peak of my experience.”
For Jacqui, the effervescent wife, mother, grandmother and Head of Secretariat & Civilian Workforce (“…a job that had my name on it….”), her career journey was often down to opportunity. The career anchor had always been the Department of Works and Pensions, managing job centres. Opportunity knocked and a move to the Ministry of Defence saw her progress from an HRBP to International Policy & Plans over a period of years. Along the way she took a 2-year secondment to the Falkland Islands Government and then the role of Head of Fast Stream & Early Talent at the Cabinet Office during challenges of New Government and Brexit.
For many, holding down such a pressurised series of jobs necessitates pin-point focus and dedication, but add in family commitments and the situation becomes even more complex. “My husband needed a bone marrow transplant. I couldn’t do this and a role in the Middle East as well.…I always give my all, but I couldn’t give 110%, so something had to give.” Having had children young there was the added need to also put them first.
“I did the usual ‘mum’ things, collecting them from football and hockey. When they went to bed I would study (for a Master’s in Social & Public Policy). I thought nothing of it at the time.”
Her children consider her “such a role model” which exacts an emotional response from Jacqui who sees “my brother and my husband” as her own role models. Both Jacqui’s parents were lost to cancer which is why she is such a big advocate of the Defence Cancer Support Group. “Dad would say when I was going through my Masters – keep going. That was my background. These are my values,” said a stoic Jacqui.
It is hard not to like Jacqui. Apart from believing that everyone should bring their whole self to work every day, she lives by five personal needs that have coloured her career:
“They are really simple: Fun, team spirit and camaraderie (1), adding value and making a difference (2), academic stimulation (3), great role models (4) and work life balance (5).”
When one of these five is not met, then for Jacqui it is time to move on. Although given the nickname of ‘superwoman’ by a couple of her admirers I had met, the only civilian female one-star at Air Command, indeed the only civilian female one star in the whole of the RAF, has her own demons.
“It is the not feeling good enough or confident enough in my working life. I spent too much time doing sport at school, which may have something to do with it” said the trained coach and mentor.
Working in an often male-dominated environment Jacqui herself has said “it has not been easy.” A prime example was during her tenure in the Middle East where she was the only female in an all-military team:
“I felt I had to give 120% just because I was a woman and a civilian. I stayed later than anyone else and got in earlier just to make sure I was on top. I felt I had something to prove in that environment. But I earned trust and respect and my confidence was high.”
Being more tenacious is something that she has become as she has got older. “Yes, I have been intimidated. I was recently one of four women in a CAS conference of 60 people. It was unsettling. But I thought to myself, I have done Gibraltar, the Falklands, Iraq, and the broader Middle East. I feel I have something to bring to the table.”
The passion that Jacqui holds for life is palpable. Her hope, as the only one-star is that she can offer a different perspective. “But we must get more people in. I am an HR person, and I am diversifying by bringing more people in. Sometimes it is lonely, I am not going to lie.”
And her advice to a woman to be their best?
“Don’t stop being who you are. Don’t ever try to be something you are not. Be yourself. Bring yourself to work. Surround yourself with brilliant people. Make sure you have that great role model - someone else you can talk to, to enable you to do well. Above all surround yourself with radiators, not drains – people who are upbeat and generate warmth, love, and care rather than negativity.”
This philosophy is very much echoed by Air Vice Marshall Tamara who is only the second female to hold the post of Director of Legal Services. If you subscribe to the stereotypical image of a dry, stuffy lawyer, think again.
“I am not particularly rank conscious. I have always been myself. I have seen other people including other women suppress themselves and mask who they are because they think that is how they need to be.”
Tamara is at the top of her profession and comfortable in herself. Private practice as a solicitor had given her a good living, but boredom set in quickly, “There has got to be more to life than this. I didn’t want this to be my life for the next 40 years,” said Tamara. There was a strong family connection to the RAF, but she had no real aspirations to join. One thing led to another, and she eventually joined the RAF, a decision that was the right decision for her.
“Know your worth and believe you can do it. Believe in yourself.”
The Legal team in the RAF has always had many females, almost a 50/50 split, which differs from other branches of the service. Consequently, the RAF has, for Tamara, been very supportive, but not without some changes to bring about some gender equality;
“I have seen the RAF really look hard at itself at how it deals with and treats the women in its force and work hard to understand why women on average have a shorter career length than men. Many women leave at certain points in their career either to have families or for other reasons. I have seen some really great initiatives come in like flexible working and flexible service to try and address some of the things that women and also men have said were barriers to them staying in the service. I have seen a huge amount of change in that regard.”
Jacqui, Tamara and Wing Commander Hayley are united in their experiences of being the only female in a meeting full of males.
“I have been in meetings where I have been talked over. I have been ignored. I used to call it the tumbleweed moment where you would make a comment, and everyone would look at you and then move on. A couple of seconds later someone else would say what you had said in a slightly different way, and everyone would say what a great point it was,” said Tamara.
Hayley has coined the phrase ‘he-peating’ where a man repeats something the woman said. Experience and time have changed this unsavoury attitude for many females;
“Back then it would irritate me and frustrate me. Some people in that meeting did not stop that happening. But I have not felt like that in a meeting for a long time – partly because the people I deal with now run very inclusive meetings. They value my opinion and I feel I can talk when I want to. When I sit on the Air Force Main Board there is no sense that my opinion is not valid or not wanted. It is very empowering and that gives you even more confidence to give your opinion again and again. If someone ‘appropriated’ my contribution now, I would now have the confidence to say something,” said Tamara.
The common theme that unites all the women is the need for support from peers and family.
“I cannot imagine anyone in their working life who does not do that for you. What I would say to all bosses and line managers is: What you do and say has an impact on the people around you. You can build them up or you can knock them down. Choose to build them up,” said Tamara.
In a revealing moment, Tamara summed up the importance of urging women to be the best they can;
“Doors are opening for women where they hadn’t been previously to allow them to progress further in the service. Part of that is that women believe that they can do that too. That is why it is so important that women see other women there because you can’t be what you can’t see. That is why I say ‘yes’ to things like this (the interview) as much as I on a personal level do not want to put my head above the parapet, I don’t enjoy it. I don’t want to do it, but I say yes because it is really important; if one person sees it and says, ‘I can do that’, or ‘ok, that resonated with me,’ then it is worth it.”
