World Cancer Day is held on 4 February every year to raise awareness and improve education to ensure cancer treatment and care is equitable for all. The theme for this year is Uniting Voices and Taking Action.
I recently met two women who have done just that!
Nikki had worked for the Civil Service for less than a year before receiving the news that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2020, pre pandemic. Treatment began that summer. In trying to find what additional support was available through MOD Policies, Nikki quickly realised that there was a complete lack of information to support anyone affected by cancer in Defence.
"If I find something is not working, and it is important to me, I will do something about it", said an impassioned Nikki.
So began Nikki’s journey. Forthright, and with a stoicism that belies her character, Nikki took her first step.
“When I was diagnosed, I did not cry. People at work cried. I did not. I was not worried about it. When I was having treatment and the situation was more difficult from first anticipated I felt that not only were we in lockdown which did not help, but I felt unsupported (by Policy), and I didn’t know where to go. I started searching on Defnet……and was there for hours. All I could find was a link to Macmillan.”
Nikki’s life changed when she heard about the Cross Government Cancer Support Group and joined one of their meetings. Another on the call was trying to set up a network and she got in touch in 2021. “I had no idea how to set up a Network, what to do, what to call it, permissions etc,” said Nikki. Through perseverance the fledgling Defence Cancer Support Network was set up by the end of 2021. World Cancer Day was a whisper away and Network took the decision to launch even though they were not 100% ready.
Fellow Civil Servant, Alli had come on board in early 2021.
“I had a different journey to Nikki. My leg suddenly became swollen overnight. And it was only after a MRI Scan that it was discovered I had a rare form of sarcoma growing across my psoas muscle from my sacrum and had wrapped itself around veins and nerves. As a result, I have limited use of my right leg, but I survived it and am here to tell the tale," said a clearly emotional Alli.
Bonded by adversity but united in their determination, the affection that these remarkable women have for each other is palpable.
The purpose of the Defence Cancer Support Network is wide ranging, but primarily it is an aid that offers a signpost for help.
“We provide a door for people to go through that says ‘yes, there is a person prepared to give you some time.’ We will stand with you ‘Shoulder to Shoulder, Heart to Heart’. We don’t know what you have been going through, but we have been through something similar,” said Nikki.
Nikki & Alli, who work with other strong-minded women, find laughter a great stress reliever. Both clearly feed off each other, happily finishing each other’s sentences but respecting one another’s point of view.
The Support Network is going places, and both are in buoyant mood for its future. A cancer support café has been set up in Scotland, a buddy system is being implemented and guest speakers are invited to talk on a wide variety of topics. There is a multi-user email and a sharepoint page. From just a small committee of four there are now over forty network members with twenty to thirty people attending the monthly get togethers. The goal is to be on the front of Defnet and the momentum is clearly with them to continue making those vital connections.
The Network is a virtually-based, closed group, but new members are always welcomed. A safe space if offered for anyone to talk about how cancer has affected their lives. It could be a family member, friend, co-worker or line manager who is just looking for advice.
“We have cancer of the month….sounds like a flavour of the month,” joked Nikki. “But it is really about cancer awareness, giving out information and promoting discussion.”
It is easy to get swept along in Nikki and Alli’s enthusiasm. The cloak of pessimism and negativity does not sit well on either ladies’ shoulders. Neither find talking about cancer emotionally draining.
“No, I find it uplifting and energising. It is helping me personally and the person affected,” said Nikki, joyfully. This is echoed by Alli; “You live that experience that is super traumatic. But if you can help one person, even if just a signpost, it feels very comforting.”
You may be thinking, what motivates these women each day to keep going? There was no hesitation from Nikki. “Whatever I am doing at work, home or with charity it is adding value. Finding the joy in each day.”
Alli reflected on loss, and the joy of family to find her motivational strength. “My perspective changed. There was a high risk I would lose my life, let alone never walk again. That of course changes your outlook. Not all is positive. I still grieve the loss of the full use of my body. But I think my mindset before and after the experiences are quite different because I don’t think I quite realised before my surgery how much my husband meant to me. He was the one who took it all on and I realised what an incredible human being he was.”
Staggeringly, one in two people will contract cancer at some point in their lives. If your life or someone that you know has been affected by cancer, the Defence Cancer Support Network is a beacon of hope.
“We will find time to have a call with you and find out where you are. If you don’t know where to go, we can signpost,” commented Nikki.
We meet thousands of people in our lifetime. Some you remember, some you forget. Some make you glad to be alive and inspire you to make a difference – however small. Nikki and Alli are these people. It takes enormous courage to talk about personal adversity in the hope that it may help other people. In difficult times it is a comfort to know that there is a helping hand here to support.
Everyone needs a Nikki and an Alli in their lives. And they are right here.
The Defence Cancer Support Network can be reached at - Defence Cancer Support Network (sharepoint.com) or email [email protected]
